New Year

2010 was pretty bad. It started off good and then went to hell pretty quickly. I went from being the healthiest Id been in 5 years and dating a guy happily to having my lung collaspe in feburary and from there it went to hell. After graduating college in april, I just kept getting sick, lung function kept declining. I had a lung transplant assessment that I was "sure" wasnt going to actually mean anything for a couple years. July hit and I was on o2 24/h a day and Ive been on it ever since.I got listed for lung transplant in october. I had to quit the job I liked, I couldnt look for any work related to what I went to school for. I no longer have any sort of social life. I can't walk upstairs without almost passing out. My lungs always hurt, I cant sleep on my back anymore. I spend every week going back and forth between toronto and orillia , waiting. Just waiting for the call. Spending more time in doctors appointments than anywhere else. Thats the problem in all of this..limbo...life on hold. I just never thought there'd be a moment where I'd think...damn..what Id kill to be able to walk upstairs, walk outside, walk down the driveway to my car and get in without having to stop because im soo out of breathe. sooo needless to say 2011 has to be better. Im hoping I get lungs and get my life back. Fingers crossed. I have realised though that after all of this..ill never be one of those people on the sidelines again...screw being embarssed id rather have fun...i miss being able to do stuff. lifes a gift.