The big one..

So I’ve never really ever been religious. My parents are both Christian, but my mother is catholic and my dad is Presbyterian. They both haven’t been to church literally since their wedding. Needless to say they are not the most religious people you have ever met. My grandmother use to( and still does occasionally) take us to church as kids, but that was only when her and my grandfather were around and even then it would either be their church in Cambridge or one of the 3 churches of different religions that reside in my tiny community. YES a town of less than 2000 people and we have 3 different churches, all within 2 blocks of each other.

I never liked the Presbyterian Church in my community every time I have ever gone I wasn’t treated that well, honestly. You’d either be completely ignored or I had people say some snippy comments to me for not coming to church on a regular basis, considering as they said, that I just lived around the block. I didn’t find this very welcoming and stopped going because of it.

I’m talking about religion though because I guess I found some comfort in it this week. This is new for me, usually I can’t relate or I see no point. When I was watching the funeral for Sgt. Russell, the police officer that was killed last week, certain things the minister was saying actually made sense to me.

I’ve never read the bible, though I do have one sitting in my room. My family claims we don’t really know what to believe. We don’t say grace before we eat, we don’t pray before we go to bed, and we don’t go to church. I guess to some families we’d be complete sinners. I don’t know. My sister and I claim we aren’t that religious, though we have a Blessed Jesus hanging in our kitchen at our apartment. Also on more than one occassion Ive done the sign of the cross and repeted "In the name of the father,and the son and the holy sprit . Amen" so if im not catholic am I insulting someone?? Because in some ways I wanted to become catholic, it seems like it had more to it then just singing. I DONT know basically. I believe there is something after all of this, I can’t contemplate that there couldn’t be. I’m terrified of dying, but somehow some of what was said was comforting and I finally understand why people call priest in when they’re dying. I understand. It gives you comfort to know what could happen. I need to keep thinking about this and it is a heavy subject to talk about with anyone so heres to hoping I don’t offend anyone ....