So life has been so busy. SO busy that I havent been on here in forever.
So News Flash Im crying right now. Ya ....emotional crisis. Im just catching up on everyone and hearing bad news about people and dealing with crap side effects myself..and YES im sooo happy im alive dont get me wrong..but u get in that mood where its like ..what the heck did I do? ... did i rob a bank, do i rob old people or steal candy from children...NO ..sooo WHY does this life have to be so hard. YES self pity moment.
So i have been having side effects. Puffy..puffy..puffy. ok, then my whole body goes BRIGHT SUN BURN RED. Appartently thats a side effect of too much cyclo. Sick to my stomach. Hand cramps that left me crying..., leg cramps doing the same thing.., i wore sunblock sooo much..like friggin 60 and re applied a million times...wore layers of clothing..a hat..sunglasses..and i still burnt....frig. and my wonderful female probs...suppose to see a gyno in toronto..but well they havent gotten aroud to that...grr. ....i could keep going but i wont... would i get transplant again..YES. just..frig....why is everything so hard. They have offically wiped my immunesystem out a couple times now...and its scary. they called me and said..the clinic that is " ummm ya...soo u have no immunesytem right now, stay away from sick people, if u feel sick so straight to emerg" ...ya omg! Im coughing...i think im might actually have lung infection im not sure.. but then i was taken off my antirejection meds or most of them for july because i have almost no white blood cells left in my body. sooo my spirometer readings are lower and well in my head theres flashing be RED words of REJECTION. Im keeping track of my numbers if there still low tomorrow i need to call and figure this out. OH ps i also have high blood pressure now...and was getting killer headaches daily..i was popping tyentol like candy again....heres to hoping that stays away....SOO thats my rant...im freaking out about friends.....scared for myself...and am living in a self pity bubble for today....ya....
Other then that life has been good... im glad im alive...just sometimes u just want to scream into your pillow..why me?
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